Speak Up & Stop Listening

Mem(e)oir Material, Posts

IMG_0690Today I had probably the most empowering and emotionally gratifying moment of my life and I’m pretty sure no one noticed. That’s actually the emotionally gratifying part, strangely. That I was able to actually see that the moments that hold the most weight and take up the most space in your heart should be shared with others but they don’t mean anything if they don’t primarily occur within your own self. More importantly, I was able to see those moments finally happen in me.

When I saw a glimpse of my old self today for the first time in about 7 years I regained the little bit of hope that I’d lost believing I’d ever see me again. That me is the one who has driven me to literally hundreds of late night ‘google research’ sessions – 6 different doctors, 3 false diagnoses, 2 surgical procedures (that it turns out I may not have actually needed) and about 5,000 eye rolls from people who thought I was crazy, lazy or just a big baby ☺️👼

It turns out there was one thing standing between me and the answer and that, my friends, was everybody else – whose judgements slowly started to make me doubt

a) things would ever change and

b) that I wasn’t just a whiny person who was just too tired and weak to be the person I ever was before

So – I stopped talking. I started to listen to me – that’s exactly who eventually ended up finding the answer anyways (minus the co-pay, to boot). One central constantly growing and multiplying cause of about 16 different chronically relentless symptoms that vary from mild to debilitating and have prevented me from healing, growing and beginning the second life I so deserve.

So, it turns out that ‘google research’ paid off – it’s provided me with a specific way to get back to me and if it means giving up my wine & cheese (& gluten) for the next 6 months to a year then it means that it’s a challenge I am able to accept and overcome. Because every other challenge I’ve ever overcome has been assigned to me in some way – this one I asked for. It’d just be lame to give up now. After all, throughout this whole personal inventory via psychology.com, wikipedia and WebMD, I’ve learned things that have finally given me enough insight to finish my story. Because the only thing that was missing all along was my voice – “And I’ve been quiet for too long” 🗣🗣54570a26-7b5f-498d-bfc9-ca382b0abc9d-1

Posts

“the beauty in a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. the beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart; the place where love resides. true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul – it’s the caring and that she lovingly gives the passion that she shows and the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years”

~ Audrey Hepburn

Selfie-Care

Mem(e)ories

Thinking about how frustrating it is when it’s Monday and your selfie editing time is compromised by your actual job 💋📸 #selfiesunday #summervibes #turquoise #pastels #weekendwear #goldenhour #positivevibes #asos #everydaystyle #shorthairdontcare #blondehairdontcare #pixiecut #countrygirl #summerjewelry #weekendwarrior #mondaymotivation #selflove #selfielove #accessories #farmlife #chestercounty #kennettsquare #whyilivehere #landscape #sunset #mondaymood #instasmile #instagood #instastyle

  1. Bumble and Bumble Seaweed Conditioner                                       Was super surprised to find this at the drug store and for all of its benefits, the price – although high – is right. First of all it lasts forever because you dont need much – and since my hair is naturally coarse and devours conditioner by the bottle – that’s important. Also it feels like it soothes your scalp when you leave it on for a little bit and makes my hair feel lighter, not heavier, than it was B.B.B. (Before Bumble and Bumble)…  so now I can skimp on my shampoo so I can splurge on this instead.Sephora.com
  2. Urban Decay Naked Eyeshadow Palette indexThis is literally my version of all of the colors of the rainbow – because when it comes to eye shadow, I tend to remain modest A) because I go heavy on the liner and mascara and B) I cant ever imagine leaving the house with blue eye shadow on. Hard habit to break. Blame it on the fact that I’m a product of the 80s – my formative years. Stays on forever and travels well. Sephora.com
  3. Neutrogena Hydro Boost Water Gel 6811047_320x385If this stuff was cheap I would bathe in it. I have alot of redness due to urticaria and allergies and this soothes my skin and it’s light like a gel but moisturizes like a cream. A little bit pricier than most drugstore moisturizers but you really shouldn’t have sticker shock when it comes to your skin. Get your priorities straight, girl! Neutrogena.com
  4. Maybelline ‘Master Camo’ Kit camoInitially I bought this kit (which is the perfect size to carry along for touch ups during the day) to hide my redness – my skin, along with the rest of me, is  hypersensitive and very reactive. This helps me keep my glow, hide my dark circles, and I use the two highlight shades as an eyeshadow primer because they are shimmery and seem to really set my shadow. For a makeup junkie like me, anything that takes up less square footage in my makeup bag is a win/win situation. Maybelline.com
  5. NYX ‘Butter Gloss’ glossBy far my favorite drugstore brand of makeup – (I would recommend you check out their ombre blush too!) I apply lip gloss like, 25 times a day, so the ideal gloss would not dry out my lips or stain them in all the wrong places and would have a really dope ‘youthful’ color selection. So without further ado, allow me to introduce my ideal gloss. You can thank me later.Ulta.com

More products for the fabulous and fatigued…

Posts